Category: Politics, Religion & Money

Obama to be deported to Kenya!

Here in Massachusetts, Obama was arrested for drunk driving and he’ll be deported to Kenya. It’s true! The story is at this link.

[Officer] Krishtal said he was on Waverly Street headed toward South Street when his police car was cut off. Krishtal pulled the SUV over around 7:10 p.m. Obama failed several field sobriety tests and was arrested. At the police station, Obama failed a Breathalyzer test, registering .14. The state legal limit is .08. Obama was charged with driving under the influence of liquor and driving to endanger. He was also cited for not using a turn signal. Obama has a federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement warrant for his arrest. ICE has previously ordered him to be deported back to Kenya.

Well, there you have it. The truth about Obama. Onyango Obama. He’s a drunk from Kenya, here illegally, and so back he goes.

Update: The other shoe has dropped on this story. Onyango Obama is reported to be the half-brother of President Obama’s father.

Rick Perry channels Pat Robertson

Here’s Rick Perry, sounding like a televangelist instead of a Presidential candidate.

“Biblical principles” of money management? It’s been decades since I spent any time studying the Bible, but this is what I remember Jesus saying about money:

Matthew 19:

20 The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?

21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.

22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.

Get rid of your Xbox 360! Goodbye, PS3! Give up your iPhone and your HDTV, too.

Matthew 21:

12 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,

13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

Hmmm… what about bingo in church basements?

Matthew 22:

17 Tell us therefore, What thinkest thou? Is it lawful to give tribute unto Caesar, or not?

18 But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites?

19 Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny.

20 And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription?

21 They say unto him, Caesar’s. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s.

So pay your fair share of taxes, rich people!

Perry is praised for the economic success of Texas, and creating jobs, but I think he owes the money flowing into Texas to the oil flowing out of Texas. Right now the Lone Star state is a year into its worst drought ever. Perry’s been praying for rain, but it hasn’t worked. Perry made his famously reckless comment about Ben Bernanke’s management of the Federal Reserved being “almost treasonous…”

… but he doesn’t think the idea of Texas seceding from the United States can be considered treasonous?

And oh, by the way, the unemployment rate here in Massachusetts is lower than in Texas.

Happy birthday, Elvis?

August 16, 1977. Elvis Presley is born?

http://youtu.be/i57OqxAJlK8

At this link is Michele Bachmann’s other misstatement, about the battles of Lexington and Concord being in New Hampshire. Both of these examples can be brushed off as inconsequential, but in my experience people who are chronically careless about details are usually also weak on the fundamentals. In Bachmann’s case there’s the further issue that her positions on issues are filtered through her religious views. For example, the acceptance of evolution isn’t as controversial between scientists as Bachmann claimed here.

It’s valid to debate whether or not it was right to drop atomic bombs on Japan, but it’s not valid to argue whether or not nuclear fission works. By way of analogy, Bachmann and many in the Tea Party would have us think that nuclear fission isn’t a certainty.

But none of this matters, because I bet Bachmann won’t be nominated, let alone win the White House. Remember what happened to Ted Haggard? I wouldn’t be surprised if the same thing happens to Marcus Bachmann. At some point an old rendezvous buddy will show up and Bachmann won’t have plausible deniability. Being gay isn’t the issue. It’s the hypocrisy, stupid.

P.S. I forgot Michele’s other celebrity gaffe — the one about John Wayne.